We
all have different reactions to a fact as devastating as losing someone so
fundamental to our lives and our happiness. But a common sign
that soon happens is the revolt. We get angry, very angry
even, of God.
I for one, felt betrayed and had led most of the pitfalls of God. After all, he had always been, or at least tried to be so close and cultivated both faith and worship over the years.
The Gospel According to Luke, Chapter 7, 11-17 account the passage in which Jesus and his disciples went to a city and there coming "... behold, a dead bore, an only child, and his mother was a widow ... Seeing her Lord felt compassion for her ... "The fact is that the boy that was dead came back to life.
When, still kneeling on the sand I realized that my son had gone to another place and that God did not have mercy on me despite all the prayers and supplications, I was disgusted. I was so sure that my beloved son would recover and that God would not allow his departure so young and so suddenly. It was God's Mercy Day and I was sure, that sad day, that God would not abandon me.
But my son left and I felt completely abandoned. Unlike Luke passage quoted above, God had no mercy on me or my son and left us. That's what I thought, and these thoughts consumed me during several months.
I lost the will to pray or talk to God. I did that all the time when I thought my son would be saved but nothing worked so I started to think that was not worth praying. I rebelled!
The days and months passed by and after many readings and reflections I concluded that I needed God. Now I understand that for some reason my son (Iel) had matured to leave and that he had fulfilled his mission here on earth. The widow's son probably not. Perhaps his widowed mother needed his help and could not leave her alone.
The fact is that our limited understanding is not able to understand the “why” for a lot of things but I realized one thing: it is not up to me to question, but to be humble, not for me to revolt but to accept and return to the comfort and faith that I only can meet in God.
I for one, felt betrayed and had led most of the pitfalls of God. After all, he had always been, or at least tried to be so close and cultivated both faith and worship over the years.
The Gospel According to Luke, Chapter 7, 11-17 account the passage in which Jesus and his disciples went to a city and there coming "... behold, a dead bore, an only child, and his mother was a widow ... Seeing her Lord felt compassion for her ... "The fact is that the boy that was dead came back to life.
When, still kneeling on the sand I realized that my son had gone to another place and that God did not have mercy on me despite all the prayers and supplications, I was disgusted. I was so sure that my beloved son would recover and that God would not allow his departure so young and so suddenly. It was God's Mercy Day and I was sure, that sad day, that God would not abandon me.
But my son left and I felt completely abandoned. Unlike Luke passage quoted above, God had no mercy on me or my son and left us. That's what I thought, and these thoughts consumed me during several months.
I lost the will to pray or talk to God. I did that all the time when I thought my son would be saved but nothing worked so I started to think that was not worth praying. I rebelled!
The days and months passed by and after many readings and reflections I concluded that I needed God. Now I understand that for some reason my son (Iel) had matured to leave and that he had fulfilled his mission here on earth. The widow's son probably not. Perhaps his widowed mother needed his help and could not leave her alone.
The fact is that our limited understanding is not able to understand the “why” for a lot of things but I realized one thing: it is not up to me to question, but to be humble, not for me to revolt but to accept and return to the comfort and faith that I only can meet in God.
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