My great friend

This year I lost my great friend, my firstborn, my first dream as a mother. I lost my confidant, my artist, my talented pianist. I lost who patiently listened to my complaints and who nursed me when I cried. Because of him I was interested in chess tournaments, football games, concerts and piano music.This year I lost much of my reason for living and I rebelled. I asked for more... More progress, more wins, more joys. I lost everything ... I lost you and I won sorrow and defeat.I always considered myself a good person and therefore I did not want to believe in what happened at first. I think I did not deserve it. Much less you my dear son, always so good and sweet. I felt badly betrayed and wronged. I rebelled ....I questioned values ​​... I cried rivers of tears ... I saw the harshness of life as I had never seen before. I spent time reviewing concepts and thinking that nothing was worth anything. I tried to get a response, a why. No answer came to me considering only the facts. I asked God in the depths of my being. I gave Him a "scolding". After all where was Him when my beloved son was gone and left us here desperate and helpless.I asked several times about the existence of God. I had doubts. I am sorry about my son, my husband, my other children and also felt sorry for myself for being so lost and with no direction.I tried to answer my questions by reading the bible. I began to read the Bible daily and following from the Old Testament, something I had never done before.Some days ago I read a story in which Albert Einstein criticized the bible as he considered the stories reported there naive. But even being considered genius, not everything he says can be considered absolute truth. He discovered the fundamental laws of physics but like any one of us was human and therefore far from perfect.Stephen William Hawking is a British theoretical physicist and cosmologist and one of the most eminent scientists of today. In a recent documentary about the origin of the universe and the existence of God, he asserts that there is not necessarily a God who created the universe and that the universe may have arisen from nothing.He disputes so that someone or something has started all that exists and is therefore in charge. Just as the universe is infinite and inexplicable to us mere mortals  I do not think that any human being, however enlightened it may seem, has an explanation for everything.In addition, live without believing in God, especially after experiencing what we experienced, makes life much more difficult because you lose the main argument for living. Hinders up the hope of a life and a future meeting. Yet there are people who live like this without believing in a higher being that controls everything and loves us infinitely.Trying to prove by contradiction, that is how theorems are build, then we assume it to be true, in other words, suppose that God does not exist and that there is nothing and no one in charge. So we have an incentive not to obey rules or help anyone and that would make the world even more difficult to live and meaningless.Yet, if God did not exist, if we die and end of line, then we are nothing and all that exists and all the beauty of nature would be the result of a cell coincidence and everything happens by chance including ourselves.If we are merely the result of a huge coincidence, just like any living being, we are nobody. Yet we insist on love, that feeling that comes from nowhere and that is unexplainable and that no other living being can feel. Oops!! Here is a contradiction! We are not like any other living being, we are different because we love. By love we are able to give our lives. No other living being does that! But are we even alone? We are born, we live and just like any plant or animal? Well we have proved that we are not like any plant and animal because love sets us apart from the rest. This likely to be more akin to a complex and higher person.But if one can not prove with our meager intelligence that God exists, it is impossible to prove that He does not exist.Furthermore what about so many minds who have dedicated thier lives for centuries and centuries? Men and women considered cults studied and study, believed and believe in the existence of God in command and in his presence in their lives. Then why not believe?Today marks the day of the coming of the Son of God. He brought us this breath, performed miracles and still does, so when God allows. Do not need more proof than that.The Gospel may have been written in a time of traditions and in a a setting of a different logic compared with the one we live today but its teachings are valid for any time and restore and give encouragement. Jesus, the Son of God, that God so doubted and questioned today, is indeed our greatest consolation. He lived and came to us "nothing" as Hawking say. But nothing can be all because the universe exists. And God is greater than our fragile understanding.The son of God himself and this is our gift and our hope. Thanks to him we have reasons to live and whom to thank the existence of the universe.But the truth is that I lost my best friend this year. But time is only a convention and as space is infinite, infinite is my love for him. I prefer to believe that my good friend is happy in the company of the greatest of all the Friends.