I see a young boy at the next table and I wonder the time how my son was the same size.
I remember once he called me to run with him around the neighborhood we lived in, the Orchard Downs in Champaign, Illinois and I said I did not have time.
I am now looking for this time that does not exist anymore.
It no longer exists because it passed and because my son is no longer in that time, nor I. He also no longer belongs to this space where I bravely continue.
It is not easy to keep on. But the heart and mind can bring back time and space as if he was here and now.
How I wanted time to come back ...
I can go back to spaces we used to go, but it hurts. It hurts a lot to know that this same space will never be the same for me without him. How good it would be if he could come back.
I would do a lot of different things.
I'd go for the run at Orchard Downs for as long as he wanted.
Time is different in every situation and thinking about the time he spent struggling to survive in those last few minutes mistreats me enormously.
So I ask God to forget about this time that hurts me and to forget about the time I did not enjoy.
I focus my mind on the happy time I had with him, my beloved son Daniel, here.
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